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One of the grandest, most complex, and inspiring musical forms employed widely during the classical and romantic eras by some of history’s greatest composers. (Today - a car that gets 34 miles to the gallon... take that Joe and Amadeus!)

If you’re an accompanist, the best place to catch a quick nap. (If you’re a singer, keep an eye on your accompanist!)

The Minute Waltz:
What Chopin wrote after watching a friend’s dog chase its own tail. (Moral of the story: Pay close attention to your pets, and one day someone might make a bust of you too!)

Beethoven’s 5th:
Ludwig’s symphonic masterpiece (or what he was known to carry around in his pocket).

Mozart’s favorite stomping ground (also a type of sausage).

What one would have called Brahms. (As in: “That Hamburger’s got me in a bit of a pickle. I really relish his works, but I just haven’t had time to ketchup on all of ‘em.”)

What to say if somebody asks you, "What's 8 times 11?" — or should they ask you, "How many keys are on a piano?" (unless you're playing a Bösendorfer, then... watch out!)

Every Good Boy Does Fine:
A mnemonic device taught to young music students to help them remember the line notes in the treble clef. This catchy and far more user-friendly version replaced the somewhat awkward and difficult-to-stomach (let alone remember) "Eventually Guacamole Becomes Dreadfully Fluxile".

All Cows Eat Grass:
The veracity of this mnemonic device (used to remember the space notes in the bass clef) has become questionable thanks to the 'profits-over-health' mentality of big agribusiness (leaving consumers with questionable meat and dairy products). May need to be rewritten. Any ideas? Let me know!

The end of a musical piece; or my prediction for '2012's Most Popular Baby Name' — may be used for a boy or girl (girl: accent on the first syllable / boy: accent on the second).

If you want to get someone's attention... whisper.

If you want to get someone's attention... yell.

If you want to get someone's attention and confuse them at the same time... do this.


Seriousness is the only refuge of the shallow.
– Oscar Wilde

Have I a secret about piano playing? It is a very simple one. I sit down on the piano stool and make myself comfortable — and I always make sure the lid over the keyboard is open before I start to play.
– Artur Schnabel

Piano playing is more difficult than statesmanship. It is harder to wake emotions in ivory keys than it is in human beings.
– Ignacy Paderewski Concert pianist, Prime Minister of Poland

When tillage begins other arts follow. The farmers therefore are the founders of human civilization.
– Daniel Webster

Beauty is truth, truth beauty – that is all Ye know on earth, and all Ye need to know.
– John Keats

We have fallen into the place where everything is music. Stop the words now. Open the window in the center of your chest, and let the spirits fly in and out.
– Rumi

There’s only two kinds of music in this world… Good Music and Bad Music.
– Duke Ellington

Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.
– Henry Ford

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